11 October 2024

Nothing at all from Neighbor today. Including no pay but I’m hoping he does his usual visiting L this weekend and I can remind him then. Or actually I’m going to send him a reminder tonight and then try Giving A Meaningful Look at him tomorrow when/if he turns up. Bad enough I only got to work for less than half of what I’d expected after sorting on Tuesday night. We’re not gonna give it to me now either? Nah bruh. Pay up.

Pretty uneventful day otherwise.

Now I’m gonna get gross. One of the things about losing this weight is that everything that was bulging in the wrong places is getting squishy and saggy now. Well, apparently I have picked up a skin infection under where some of it is sagging. The infection at least is not bacterial, as far as I can tell. Thank fuck. And I already had skin cream for the other kind and am currently treating it. But I’m starting to wonder what I should do to prevent this happening. I don’t know how I’m managing to feed fungus in the first place. Spot-checked fasting sugar, it was 108 mg/dl. I probably still get dawn phenomenon so I consider that pretty good. I’ve gone as low as the high 80s before, since I’ve moved here. But anyway. What the fuck is up with that? Maybe lowering your blood sugar only plays the numbers and you can still be a sitting duck for yeast and other nonsense? I dunno. I got nuthin’.

I am just paralyzed and sad lately. I basically hate everything, but do not have the energy to scream about it.

I did almost post something really nasty though, and I don’t mean medically. Nuh-uh. I let myself turn into a raging asshole with Matt. I’m not letting anyone do that to me anymore. If you’ve been awful to me, just keep on being awful elsewhere if that makes you happy. Just try to be aware of what you’re choosing and of the fact we can ALL see you. Good luck with that.